I saw this on the Me List and posted it here for you...........
I can only tell you what kept my wife and I together through the hell of raising our autistic son.
1. Find something to focus on that does not involve your child or children. This should be something that has nothing to do with children. In our case it was rebuilding 'This Old House.' We spent 15 years rebuilding our home before we realized it was one of the things that kept us together.
2. Get rid of the plastic friends who ask stupid questions about your child who has autism or who ignore the child completely. By friends I mean family members in particular. You do not need this.
3. No matter what else you have to give up, make sure you and your spouse go out at least once a month without the children. In our case it was a group that went ballroom dancing and the conversation did NOT center around children.
4. Force yourself to maintain a libido greater than zero. Sex may not be the most important thing in life but without it every thing else is spoiled in a marriage. For us, having sex was and is like taking a mini trip or vacation for just the two of us. Don't even try at the end of the day when you are so tired. Go for the daytime or sometime when the child or children are out or taking a nap. Most importantly, both spouses should feel free to initiate.
5. Find a church or synagogue that is sympathetic to children with disabilities. I am sad to say that my experience is that some of the most bigoted people with regard to disabled children are in the “religious” community.
6. Consider a career change. Most corporate careers are totally inconsistent with raising a child with a disability. In my case, I was a hotshot IBMer. After eight years with my son, I called in and told my boss I was never coming back and that he should process my retirement papers. I have never regretted that decision.
7. Above all, in your relationship with your spouse, remember that humor is a great way to diffuse anger, depression, and tiredness. No one, not even your spouse, wants to hear horror tale after horror tale of what your child did that day. If your child bit someone, make a joke of it by recounting the preceding provocation. If your child shouted out in a public place, who was the most surprised person around and what did they drop? If you can get past the embarrassment, autistic children are funnier out in public than Chris Rock at a bible study meeting.
8. Finally, ask yourself what is really important in your life. If what is important to you is a shiny car, a beautiful house, a full wine cellar, nice vacations and maintaining family relations with relatives at all costs, then go ahead and call a divorce lawyer now. If your spouse and children are what is important, sit down and decide what you are going to do to keep your family with you. In another fifty or hundred years you will be remembered as the saying goes...no one will care what car you drove or the house you lived in or how much money you had, but if you made a difference in the life of a child, you will be remembered.
Richard Freeman, father of Daniel and advocate for many other children