No question at all....one of the most difficult aspects of running a home Autism treatment program is the relationship piece.
I mean, you have to manage people...as a parent, you have employees all of a sudden. You have to tell them what to do, you have to give them feedback, even ones who know more than you. You have to keep up with them, their lives and their paychecks. How can this best be done? It is hard. I don`t claim to be good at it. I`m actually NOT good when it comes to my hurt child and emotion. But here goes an attempt
at some pointers:
- Promote open communication on your team Your ABA team members need to believe they can talk to you. (note: you can promote this all day long and some won`t talk to you. That is just life)
- Don`t spring surprises on your team Keep them informed of what is going on on the program. Of course, some things are private. But don`t expect them to know what you don`t tell.
- Show them you have respect for them Tell them. Ask for their opinions. Respect them in front of others.
- Respect personality differences Not every therapist who walks through your home would have been your friend. But if you respect each other, you can still work together for your child.
- You don`t have to say every thing you are thinking I`m serious. Go tell a best friend or something. You want what comes out your mouth to be precise. You DON`T want to regret saying it.
- Along those lines, don`t talk to your team members when you are "in a mood" You know what I`m talking about. You may be particularly emotional that week and regret what you said the next. You can only make THOSE mistakes with people you know really well.
- Well, none of this works if the therapist does not respect you. And you cannot force that. It either happens or it does not. But by and large, ABA therapists should respect parents. Getting up in the morning for a parent with a child with autism is hard(depression and all). Much less to run a home program.
Ok, I`m going to end with this. I am NOT saying I am good at this. I never ever had anything in my life that would make me an expert at employing people to save my son`s life. Give me ANY problem in radio that I had ANY day over the emotion associated with a home program. And I`ve been in this almost 9 years. I make mistakes all the time. So be patient with yourself and try the best you can to be fair and positive with your team. Make sure they know you are trying. And by all means, it is OK for them to be reminded that you are learning and will make errors. Or as a poster I used to have said "Be patient. God isn`t finished with me yet."
My heart is with you,
Katherine Lee