When we first begin our programs, we honestly don't know what a good consultant for our child looks like...
We have not learned how to evaluate what OUR child needs in a consultant. We just know we need one and fast.
Over time, though, we must learn. When your child is not progressing as you might wish or think possible, ask yourself some of these questions:
- How much time does my consultant spend with my child/team? Is it enough?
- Does my consultant seek input about my child from me, the team, other professionals?
- In difficult cases, has the consultant recommended bringing in other "eyes" to look at the child...I don't mean a specialist to teach a skill...I mean another consultant to work together to get language, or academics or social skills...whatever the hold up is.
- Does our consultant share your goals for your child? ALL parents who start out in ABA want recovery...after that, we want the best possible outcome. Every one on the team needs to want that for the child INTENSELY...including the consultant.
- Has the child surpassed your consultant? Some children do well under one consultant in a beginning programming, but as time goes by, need a consultant who is more experienced with advanced programming.
And most importantly...are you married to your consultant? When this happens, it means you have become comfortable with the consultant you have no matter the progress and don't want to change because of the fear of what will happen. (And there are practical concerns to be sure. You must be wise.) But if your child is having serious delays/behaviors that over time are not moving forward positively...time to change or at least bring in other consultants. No matter how much you LIKE the person.
My dear friends, I know how hard this is. I started with one consultant who we were thrilled to have. Over time, we knew he was no longer right for us and we moved on. The consultant we brought in was fabulous but could not spend enough time overseeing our program. In my gut, I knew we needed constant oversite so I kept looking. I had many wonderful consultants through our house but none fit the bill for various reasons. Finally, we found a consultant that fit our son's needs...constant supervision and intense workshops with the experience to go with it. For him, we had to have this.
I know how hard it is to say goodbye and move on. But you may have to...for your child. Note: Don't do ANYTHING abruptly or in a moment of passion. Plan, arrange, THINK! Our decisions have to be rational.
My heart is with you,
Katherine Lee